Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.