I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?