My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that