I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.