Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
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If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..