In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize