you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
