a bad idea.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time