just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?