I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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