Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
