sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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