There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
