Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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