God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.