i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.