my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.