i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
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sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
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Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.