people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
