People in love make me want to vomit
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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