WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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