I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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