the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
