I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize