(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize