What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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