member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize