The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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