somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
