i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you