Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Randomize
Follow @tfln