I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
