If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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