I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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