Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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