well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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