if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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