I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
