and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I want is dick and wine.
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