We should be called the Road Head Warriors
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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