my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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