i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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