Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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