FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You pole danced in your parka.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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