shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
