We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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