where am i from again
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.