Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.