he shaved USA in his pubs
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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