I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
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I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
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I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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