If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize