It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong