ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".