Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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