I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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