Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize