You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
