I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
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After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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