Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?