Don't EVER smell your tampon
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!