We won't sleep together?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway