so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
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is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.