I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
she was so not down for the gang bang
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls