I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize