Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize