Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize