that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas