honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.