Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.